A Monumental Night

Tonight was a monumental night for Nikayda and I (Kacie). To the average person, it may seem strange as to why it's such a huge deal for me...and I'll tell you why: It was literally the first time I have EVER been able to put her to sleep without nursing her to sleep. Justin has had better luck than me lately with putting her to sleep...

Last week, we started working on having Justin put her to bed  after she reads books, cuddles, nurses, and winds down with me. On the night of September 5th, I told her "I love you" and "night night" and that dad was going to help her fall asleep tonight instead... and wouldn't you know... she fell asleep on her own in her crib (she usually HATES her crib) without anyone's help... she just asked for "dad please sing a song" and she was out for the night after a short while. We had been randomly testing out the dad-put-kid-to-sleep method here and there for a few months now, and it finally worked! :)

Up until this point (except for maybe a few fluke instances) she has been adamant about needing mom at bedtime and nursing to sleep (stubborn little turkey, she is). I am talking total meltdowns without it, nothing would soothe her but mommy's breast! We made a couple fairly rigorous attempts at "night weaning/training" her in the past (around 4 months, 6 months, 9 months or so...?) and failed... lots of crying and fighting to put her to sleep... and it just simply was NOT working for us. So we went back to our old way of doing things -- no tears or hurt feelings for anyone that way! And we all slept much better at night that way, too.

After much research (done initially to mostly make myself feel better about our need to nurse to sleep every.single.time.), WE (Justin and I -- I'm so thankful to have such a supportive and loving husband!) finally decided that we don't care what anyone thinks of how we take care of our baby (now a toddler!)...we found out that it is completely normal for that kind of "need" to nurse to sleep for some/most babies, and that it's not just a "bad habit".

So when her 1 year birthday came around (after 1 year, it is considered *gasp* ... "extended breastfeeding" Dun, dun dunnnn!! For the record, I had only planned on shooting for around 6 months of breastfeeding.) we were not (as) worried about weaning her. I continued to read articles and a great book from LLL, "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" which made me feel more at ease and confident in our decision and current routines thus far in raising our little girl. We agreed that we wouldn't let the opinions of others change how we do things. So we have stuck with our parental instincts and gut feelings and go-with-the-flow in whatever feels natural to us as parents. 

As it turns out, we have been somewhat following an "attachment parenting" style from day 1; we didn't realize/research all of this until she was almost 1. I want to reiterate that attachment parenting was not something that we just picked up or even planned to follow because it's a "new fad" or something (actually the concept of "attachment parenting" has been around since the beginning of time, look it up sometime if you're interested)... And yes, I have felt like I was going a little crazy (selflessly) dropping everything to attend to her cries, make sure she feels comfortable (both emotionally and physically), waking up numerous times in the middle of the night to nurse, nursing in random odd places/positions where ever we may be -- out and about town, shopping, in the car, at the park, etc, over and over again... not to mention all the hours spent pumping at work (during 15 minute breaks and at lunch) ...even keeping it up while I was away on a business trip to TX for 3-4 days when she was 4 months old... (ugh...will never do that again... not fun to pump in airport bathrooms and get through TSA security with a pump and cooler full of milk! Also, I missed my baby something fierce!) then even quitting my job to become a SAHM later so I could be around for her even more (moving from 2 incomes to 1 income was terrifying for us, but turned out to be the best decision ever for our sanity)! 

I am not trying to pat myself on the back here or ask for any sort of sympathy or approval (and I certainly don't want to hear about it if you have any dis-approval, ha! Don't say anything if you don't have anything NICE to say, please :P) ... I'm just saying that all those precious mommy hours are honestly worth it everyday for me... Ok, I'll say it. I'm PROUD of myself, dammit. :) Especially on a night like tonight when I recognize that she is (finally! yet somewhat bittersweet...) able and ready to fall asleep on her own without her mommy nursing her (and without crying or being forced into it -- all on her own terms). And I don't doubt that other mommies out there feel a similar pride in their "work" towards their individual mother-child goals. One of our biggest goals has been to get her to fall asleep on her own, and tonight was the night for us!

It's been a beautiful journey as new parents so far, and I don't think we'd have done anything differently if we could go back... and we most definitely would not trade these new parenting experiences (whether hard or easy) or our little (growing) bundle of joy for the world! I'm not sure what we would do (or what we ever did?) without her! :)